The Joke thread

[Brave]

I try wearing tight jeans but, I can never pull them off

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, I can't seem to put it down..

The man who invented "knock-knock" jokes
deserves a "no-bell" award.

 

[Jeercrul]

Why did Cinderella get kicked out of the baseball team?

Because she ran away from the ball.

Eheheheheheheh.

 

[Swate]

We need a "groan" rating just for this thread. xD

 

[Jayfeather]

We need a "groan" rating just for this thread. xD

Goodjoke

 

[Swate]

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
Their middle names.

hueheuhehuee

 

[Da Jinks]

"Boy, this is some stand-up comedy."
"What do you mean?"
"It makes me want to stand up and walk away."
"HO-HO-HO"

 

[minecrafter1414]

http://anti-joke.com horrible but funny jokes

 

[Amorix]

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

I couldn't find footage of the laughing scene from FF10 to put here.
Use your imagination.

 

[Fruit]

What did the zero say to the eight?

Spoiler

Nice belt!

What did one plate say to the other?

Spoiler

Dinner's on me tonight.

Why were the apple and orange alone?

Spoiler

Because the banana split

Ooh, some of the jokes I get off that back of milk cartons

 

[Marnixxie]

How can you tell the difference between a hippo and a banana?

I don't know, but you'd better figure it out soon, because if you ever try to peel a hippo...
Also, moved to the appropiate section now x)

 

[ealev]

What makes the sound 'oooooooooo'?
A cow without lips.
(but seriously though, what the fuck. who would cut the lips off a cow)

 

[Pikmon2]

What do you call a snail, on a ship? A Snailor!

 

[Jayfeather]

What do you call a snail, on a ship? A Snailor!

OH GARY USED TO LOVE THAT ONE

 

[Txboy1234]

A joke I heard from school, you might not find it funny but I did.
A cowboy rides his horse to a saloon. He ties the horse down and enters the saloon. He has a drink, and then exits again. But when he goes back out, his horse is no longer there. Angry, the cowboy storms into the saloon and yells, "If I don't get my horse back from whoever stole it by the time I have had another beer, I'm gonna do what I did in Texas!". Everyone is frightened. The bartender nervously walks up to the cowboy and asks, "What did ya do in Texas, sir?". The cowboy looks at him and says, "Well I had to walk home, didn't I!".

Finally someone see's how Texans live.

 

[Amorix]

Two blondes walking into a bar.
One ducks.

 

[Tiger437]

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus!

 

[Wink]

What has three nostrils, the temper of a demon, and frizzy hair?
A: Supers---

• No Making fun of people

ANYWAYS,

What do you call four spainards going down in a boat? Quatro Cinco

 

[ealev]

One my friend got me with:
Wanna hear a joke? You. *walks away*