Agent Action

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  • OMG ITS AWESOME ATM

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Shocker

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This is a book I'm writing atm. Enjoy!


Chapter 1: The Story of Dr Robostein

Hello agent friend! My name is Agent Electric, and I’m going to tell you the story about the agents. Once on planet earth, in 1987, there was a group of secret spies who did good stuff. They captured criminals, saved cats from trees and helped kids with homework. There were 3 of the best agents on the team; their names were Agent Kool, Agent Skills and Agent Robot. At the time there was a nasty disease in Hervey Bay called the billion virus. It was a disease that made you cough a lot, made you have headaches and quenched when you’re actually thirsty. Scientists couldn’t find a cure, so they had to launch it into space and away from earth. They made a space ship (which was really hard back then) and after a month’s work, they finally made it. They launched the disease away from earth, but there was something they didn’t know… The virus actually evolved into people after about 15 years in the rocket ship, they got hit by an asteroid in the solar system and went to another galaxy where they can have their own planet. It was the last mission for Agent Robot and he was in space trying to fix a satellite, but he also had the last disease on earth. The billion virus (now known as billion beings) shot a laser at Agent Robot, which took half an hour to get to earth, and it sucked Agent Robot to their alien planet. It was now the year 2011 and the group of secret spies was no more. Agent Skills tried to make a new one and he was the director. At Planet Billion, Agent Robot was a billion being, he eventually became a zillion being and he became the leader of Planet Billion! “What shall we call you, leader?” asked one of the billion beings.

“I shall now be known as Dr Robostein!” Agent Robot answered.

“Booooooo!” yelled all the billion beings chucking rotten eggs at him. Dr Robostein made a shield and turned his fist into a fireball and threatened them all. They were all scared. They obeyed him.

Meanwhile on earth, the director was trying to recruit some agents and then saw something on his hi-advanced, hi-technical computer. Dr Robostein was on it, laughing.

“Muahahah! I am Dr Robostein! You will know me from somewhere, director!”

“I don’t even know who the heck you are!” replied the director

“Do you know someone by the name, Agent Robot?” answered Dr Robostein

The director gasped. He tried to stop Dr Robostein from hacking the agent network.

“I will take all of your people to another planet for earth to leave around for me to rule!” said Dr Robostein.

There were bright flashes of white lights, and then suddenly, it all went white.

This is the bit where I come in. He recruited heaps of agents on the new planet. The funny thing is that he only took half of the earth’s population. The planet was exactly like earth, but with new places like Strange Shores, Surf Station, Fire Forest, Null City, Paradise Island, Gamer’s Galore and many more! Another thing he needed was an agent base. He realised that he was underneath a junkyard. It was the perfect place to hide the secret door to the base. Are the agents still alive? What happened to Agent Kool? How did Dr Robostein turn evil? I’ll tell you now. Yes, the agents are still alive. Agent Kool wasn’t heard from, but he could turn invisible. He probably is still invisible. And Dr Robostein turned evil probably because the billion viruses or diseases also affected his brain, which is why Dr Robostein is how he is today. Now back to the real story

































Chapter 2: The Real Story

After a mission, Agent Killer, Agent Sneak and I were walking back to Junk HQ.

“We totally beat Dr Robostein that time!” said Agent Killer

“Yeah, we ambushed his army so easily” replied Agent Sneak

“He’s always so easy to ambush” I replied

As I lead the team of highly trained agents through the junkyard, we checked to see if anycitizens were around, but sadly there were none. . The elevator went to the base. I walked into the hangout room. Agent Darko was lying down on the couch, sleeping. He’s one powerful agent. Agent Rockstar, a training agent was sitting on a chair playing some handheld video game from Agent Tech™. Agent Awesome walked into the room playing an epic guitar solo.

“Could you keep it down? I’m trying to play Billion Blaster 3!” said Agent Rockstar. Agent Awesome couldn’t hear over the awesome sounds he was making on his electric guitar. Agent Rockstar just put some headphones on and plugged them into his electric device. Agent Darko woke up, yawning.

“Good morning” he said in an angry or evil sort of tone

“Good morning?” I said “It’s 4:13 in the afternoon!”

“I don’t care!” he replied. “At least Agent Awesome woke me up!”

Agent Awesome still couldn’t hear anyone.

“C’mon Darko, let’s just go to the skate park or something!” I exclaimed

But before he could answer, my spy phone was ringing. I picked it up. There was a new mission. I went to the Director’s House next to the Junkyard to see what I have to do.


When I got there, Agent Fire, my sidekick, Agent Rockstar and Agent Darko were waiting.

“Agent Electric, you’re late, again!” said the Director.

“Now, the billion army are attacking the skate park. I want you to”

“Kick their butts?” said Agent Rockstar

“Shush!” I whispered to him

“As I was saying, the billion army are attacking the skate park. I want you four to stop them” finished the Director

“Stop them, kick their butts, same thing!” replied Agent Rockstar.

“Yes, but ‘kicking their butts’ is more of a rude way to say it” answered the Director

“Now go and do your job!”

“Darko and I were actually just going to go the skate park” I added

“I don’t care! Just do your job!” replied the Director


We took a taxi to the skate park. There were heaps of billion beings riding skateboards and stuff. We hid in the bushes.

“What should we do?” asked Agent Fire

“I have a plan” I replied

I got out my hypno gun, the gun that hypnotises enemies. I aimed carefully and hit one of them. His eyes were glowing purple.

“MUST DESTROY DR ROBOSTEIN. MUST DESTORY DR ROBOSTEIN!” said the billion being as he started to attack his own friends. That’s when we jumped out the bushes and attacked, that’s when some more came after us. I kicked one of them in the chest. Agent Fire took out his flamethrower and started burning them.

“What should I do?” asked Agent Rockstar

“Use your guitar gun!” I replied.

He played his guitar gun which started at the shooting billion beings. Agent Darko came in and punched them in the face. They staggered backwards and knocked themselves out. Agent Fire was about to punch one, then he accidently punched me!

“Ow!” I say

“It’s the sidekick punishment for you!”

“What is it this time?” he says, scared.

“How about clean the town’s public toilets?”

Agent Fire looked at me with terror, with tears in his eyes.

“NO! Anything BUT the public toilets!” he exclaimed

“Look at my arm, see that huge bruise, that’s what you did!” I said

“Agent Darko, we need a new agent to help. I need to teach Agent Fire a lesson” I told Agent Darko

“I’ll ask Agent Ice” said Darko

“Good” I replied.


At the public toilets, there were heaps of horrible toilets. I chose the easiest one to clean.
“Are you sure this is safe?” asked Agent Fire

“Of course it is, now get cleaning!” I said

He cleaned for about 2 minutes until suddenly; a snake came out of the toilet and tried to attack Agent Fire. I heard a guitar solo while he was being attacked.

“Agent Awesome, are you hiding behind that door?” I asked

“Yes” he replied “I’m here to do the music when something happens”

“Oh ok” I said

Agent Fire picked up the snake and squeezed out some venom and put it into a chemical container.

“We should show the director this” he said

I nodded.


I met up with Rockstar, Darko and Ice. All of the billion beings at the skate park were teleporting to space, where they belong.

“Hey guys! Big news! A snake attacked me in the toilets! How strange, huh?” said Fire

“We’re taking it to the Director” I said

“Now Darko, want to go skateboarding?

“Whatever” he replied

We were all skateboarding for the rest of the day. At 7:30 pm we arrived back at Junk HQ.

“Is the Director here?” asked Fire

“Yes I am, ok what is it now?” he said from the shadows

“Can you take a look at this snake’s venom?” I asked

“Sure” he said

We went into the lab. It was amazing. We all looked around and stared at the chemicals, robots and other science-related stuff.
“Is this the stink bomb you wanted?” asked Professor Gassy. She is the professor. She makes stink bombs, fart decoys, stink spray and stuff like that. She might look crazy with her crazy hair and silly goggles, but she is awesome.

“Not quite, we need good stink bombs to sell at the action store. She nodded. The director started testing the venom with chemicals. After a minute of testing, he frowned.

“I have good news and bad news” said the director

“Good news first, hopefully it’s about me” replied Agent Awesome

“Ok good news, it now takes a week instead of two days to be infected with a billion virus.

Bad news is that as soon as you get it, you turn evil and now it makes the billion beings stronger, so we better get ready. This also tells Dr Robostein has something big planned. I want you agents to collect your X-Ultimate swords hidden throughout this planet.”

“X-Ultimate?” said Agent Rockstar

“Yes, they are sacred swords of our ancestors. Each one gives you all armour and a special ability on the sword.”

“So we have to find them?” asked Rockstar

We all groaned.

“Didn’t you hear him Agent Rockstar?” I asked.

“Nope, but let’s go!” he said











 

Willchill

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Pretty great! Your writing is awesome for you age! C:

As for some tips, try not to repeat yourself. For example,

As we walked into the Junkyard, we stopped to check if any citizens were around. Nope. We continued walking and scanned the card reader with our Agent ID card. The elevator went to the base. I walked into the hangout room. Agent Darko was lying down on the couch, sleeping. He’s one powerful agent. Agent Rockstar, a training agent was sitting on a chair playing some handheld video game from Agent Tech™. Agent Awesome walked into the room playing an epic guitar solo.

It is a tad difficult because you're writing in 1st person (writing from the view of one of the characters), but avoid using 'we' so often. For example, you could write:

As I lead the team of highly trained agents through the junkyard, we checked to see if any citizens were around, but sadly there were none.

Just my opinion. x3

ReyvnNova should see this.
 

Shocker

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Pretty great! Your writing is awesome for you age! C:

As for some tips, try not to repeat yourself. For example,

As we walked into the Junkyard, we stopped to check if any citizens were around. Nope. We continued walking and scanned the card reader with our Agent ID card. The elevator went to the base. I walked into the hangout room. Agent Darko was lying down on the couch, sleeping. He’s one powerful agent. Agent Rockstar, a training agent was sitting on a chair playing some handheld video game from Agent Tech™. Agent Awesome walked into the room playing an epic guitar solo.

It is a tad difficult because you're writing in 1st person (writing from the view of one of the characters), but avoid using 'we' so often. For example, you could write:

As I lead the team of highly trained agents through the junkyard, we checked to see if any citizens were around, but sadly there were none.

Just my opinion. x3

ReyvnNova should see this.
Ok that will really help me thanks
 

ReyvnNova

"Come buy our orchard fruits, Come buy, come buy~"
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Hey there!

So, I love writing. I do know however that I wasn't writing for recreation at age 11, so kudos to you! The two best tips I can give you are always keep at it - the more you write the more you learn ;] Secondly, always keep a Thesaurus or Dictionary handy to replace common words with more interesting ones. This will expand your vocabulary and assist you not just in writing but also simply speaking to other people.

Good work, and keep it up!

Edit: Creative Corner maybe?
 
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