the BREAD: Volume 1

Trap_Wolf

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Yooo, there wasn't an article yesterday because it was finals week for me. So here's a little blurb from me to you explaining the humor behind the BREAD. Hope you enjoy.
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So I’ve been contemplating on whether I should actually explain the purpose of the BREAD or not because my explanation might ruin the magical ju-ju-juice that the BREAD dolefully creates. I’ve decided to though to expand your horizon of knowledge and overall enjoyment of what I, and many other people, desire to create for you, our audience.

I want you to understand satire.

Satire is a genre of literature, of arts. It use is to making a mockery of people’s abuse, paradigms, perceptions, mistakes and ideally to gall those people into improving their selves and society. While satire is generally humorous, or vessels of dark comedy, it’s purpose is usually much greater to give insight on sociological issues, generally political, to give wit and attention on general or specific issues of people as a whole.
Some examples include:

The Daily Show​
The movie series: Scary Movie​
Austin Power movies​
Songs of Weird Al Yankkovic​

I hope those examples give a clear, or clearer, view of what satire is. Satire in itself can either be extremely easy or incredibility difficult to produce, understand, or even accept. In fact, satire doesn’t care whether you accept it or not, as long as it gets you thinking.

Let’s go through a scenario, there was an issue surrounding Dusk of Discordia on the policies of player-vs-player environments and player-vs-environment environments. An easy pitch taken from this was “NEW POLL REVEALS THAT PLAYERS DON'T WANT PVP OR PVE. IN FACT, THEY DON'T EVEN WANT A SERVER.” It’s pretty obvious no one legitimately desires there not being a server, so there’s the irony in that. There’s also two things someone could take from this, one: the solution is that the directors decide not to run with DoD at all rendering any chance of enjoyment; two: display a banner basically giving the finger to both arguments of PVE and PVP showing that this pitch devalues both groups. Now how does that create a solution? It doesn’t, satire’s intent isn’t for finding a solution, it’s to make other people see the error of what they are doing and find the solution on their own.

More pitches include:

“Paralyzed boy prays to God to heal his legs, ‘No,’ answers God.”​
“Poll reveals that 78% of Americans don’t actually know the full dance to the national anthem.”​
via The Onion [x]

And it was at this point in writing I realized I had a final in my level 600 Physics class in five minutes and my train of thought abruptly stopped as I didn’t give a shit about the BREAD anymore or anything else.

As final note I really would like to leave this on is that, the BREAD’s meant for major luls but it also wishes to be an eye opener. No matter how porqueque we get; we have everyone’s best interests at heart.

Dam u str8 babygurl.
 

Undefined User 7

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Hi, Biblius here with two important pieces of information:

1. The BREAD will be returning as of April. Trap, Stein and I have all been very busy, and now that we've sufficiently repressed our obligations, we can return to making The BREAD. Expect issues to be released randomly and without warning, much like an inquisition.

2. We had an article written for the aforementioned release but SOMEBODY had to go and resign. Too bad @Sploorky, you're getting an article anyways!

SPLOORKY ELECTED TO LEAD ANARCHIST CELL

AFTER weeks of rumors buzzing around the community, BREAD correspondents today confirmed that Sploorky was just yesterday elected to be leader of an extremist, anarchist cell whose whereabouts are unknown. The former admin has big goals for his new post: "I can see big things happening in this group. One of the first things I want do is get some long-overdue organisation into this group, and get us back in order!" he stated in an office interview. The admin-turned-anarchist was elected just yesterday in a near-unanimous vote by anarchists around the world. The election has mystified journalists, with many claiming that having an organized election subverts the entire idea of anarchy. When asked this question, local members refused to address the statements, prefering instead to continually yell: "FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!" in reference to Rage Against The Machine's No. 1 hit, "Killing In The Name Of". Sploorky will assume the office of Chief Rebellion Executive effective June 6th, as per anarchist law.
 
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Enderfive

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Sure, make all the weird stuff happen on June 6th. Sploorky as anarchist leader, my math exams, my birthday, WinX's birthday. I believe we have the new date for the next apocalypse.

EDIT: Wait, what the hell is an anarchist leader anyway? :confused: Yeah, yeah, I get it, it's satire or something
 
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Enderfive

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1. The BREAD will be returning as of April. Trap, Stein and I have all been very busy, and now that we've sufficiently repressed our obligations, we can return to making The BREAD. Expect issues to be released randomly and without warning, much like an inquisition.
Last day of April, and I'm still hoping Biblius is a man of his word.
 
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