Paste what you have copied :D
- Thread starter Chillingworth
- Start date
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There is a lot of them
Relaxation Chamber
"Good morning. You have been in suspension for -fifty- days. In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise."
"You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look up at the ceiling. [BUZZER]"
"Good. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor. [BUZZER]"
"Good. This completes the gymnastic portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise."
"There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it."
"This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]"
"You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]"
" Good. Now please return to your bed."
"Good morning. You have been in suspension for -nine nine nine nine nine... nine ni (continues repeating behind the following:)- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should vacate the Enrichment Center immediately. Any test subject not emerging from suspension at this time will be assumed to have exercised his or her right to remain in extended relaxation, for the duration of the destruction of this facility. If you have questions or concerns regarding this policy, or if you require a Spanish-language version of this message, feel free to take a complimentary piece of stationary from the desk drawer in front of you, and write us a letter. Good luck." (The latter part is overlaid with Wheatley's speech.)
" Please prepare for emergency evacuation."
" All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown."
Test chambers
Chamber 00
"Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center."
"We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control."
"However, thanks to Emergency Testing Protocols, testing can continue. These pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support, so that science can still be done, even in the event of environmental, social, economic, or structural collapse."
"The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three, two, one."
"Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency."
"If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim."
"Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it."
If the player has already passed through the Emancipation Grill after the "cube and button-based testing" information:
"You have just passed through an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which vaporizes most Aperture Science equipment that touches it."
Chamber 01
" If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples."
" You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head."
" Good!"
" Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised."
" Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt."
Chamber 02
" If the Earth is currently governed by a manner of animal-king, sentient cloud, or other governing body that either refuses to or is incapable of listening to reason, th- [RECORDING SHORTS OUT]"
" Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the Laws of Robotics. To share."
" Good. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights as detailed in the Laws of Robotics, please note it on your self-reporting form. A future Aperture Science Entitlement Associate will initiate the appropriate grievance-filing paperwork."
Chamber 03
" This next test is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three. Two. One. [SMOOTH JAZZ]"
" Great work! Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments."
If the player manages to go through the exit without both cubes on the buttons:
" You have trapped yourself. Congratulations. The exit door is now open."
Chamber 05
" If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test."
" Well done! The Enrichment Center reminds you that although circumstances may appear bleak, you are not alone. All Aperture Science personality constructs will remain functional in apocalyptic, low power environments of as few as 1.1 volts."
Chamber 06
" This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you."
" If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you."
" Good work getting this far, future-starter! That said, if you are simple-minded, old, or irradiated in such a way that the future should not start with you, please return to your primitive tribe and send back someone better-qualified for testing."
Chamber 07
" To ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy."
Unused Test Chamber Lines
" At the time of this recording, Federal disclosure policies require us to inform you that this next test is probably.. lethal and to redirect you to a safer test environment."
" We will attempt to comply with these now. agencies by playing some more smooth jazz."
"Good morning. You have been in suspension for -fifty- days. In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise."
"You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look up at the ceiling. [BUZZER]"
"Good. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor. [BUZZER]"
"Good. This completes the gymnastic portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise."
"There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it."
"This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]"
"You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]"
" Good. Now please return to your bed."
"Good morning. You have been in suspension for -nine nine nine nine nine... nine ni (continues repeating behind the following:)- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should vacate the Enrichment Center immediately. Any test subject not emerging from suspension at this time will be assumed to have exercised his or her right to remain in extended relaxation, for the duration of the destruction of this facility. If you have questions or concerns regarding this policy, or if you require a Spanish-language version of this message, feel free to take a complimentary piece of stationary from the desk drawer in front of you, and write us a letter. Good luck." (The latter part is overlaid with Wheatley's speech.)
" Please prepare for emergency evacuation."
" All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown."
Test chambers
Chamber 00
"Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center."
"We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control."
"However, thanks to Emergency Testing Protocols, testing can continue. These pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support, so that science can still be done, even in the event of environmental, social, economic, or structural collapse."
"The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three, two, one."
"Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency."
"If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim."
"Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it."
If the player has already passed through the Emancipation Grill after the "cube and button-based testing" information:
"You have just passed through an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which vaporizes most Aperture Science equipment that touches it."
Chamber 01
" If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples."
" You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head."
" Good!"
" Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised."
" Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt."
Chamber 02
" If the Earth is currently governed by a manner of animal-king, sentient cloud, or other governing body that either refuses to or is incapable of listening to reason, th- [RECORDING SHORTS OUT]"
" Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the Laws of Robotics. To share."
" Good. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights as detailed in the Laws of Robotics, please note it on your self-reporting form. A future Aperture Science Entitlement Associate will initiate the appropriate grievance-filing paperwork."
Chamber 03
" This next test is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three. Two. One. [SMOOTH JAZZ]"
" Great work! Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments."
If the player manages to go through the exit without both cubes on the buttons:
" You have trapped yourself. Congratulations. The exit door is now open."
Chamber 05
" If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test."
" Well done! The Enrichment Center reminds you that although circumstances may appear bleak, you are not alone. All Aperture Science personality constructs will remain functional in apocalyptic, low power environments of as few as 1.1 volts."
Chamber 06
" This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you."
" If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you."
" Good work getting this far, future-starter! That said, if you are simple-minded, old, or irradiated in such a way that the future should not start with you, please return to your primitive tribe and send back someone better-qualified for testing."
Chamber 07
" To ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy."
Unused Test Chamber Lines
" At the time of this recording, Federal disclosure policies require us to inform you that this next test is probably.. lethal and to redirect you to a safer test environment."
" We will attempt to comply with these now. agencies by playing some more smooth jazz."
- Status