Once upon a time, there was a Zombie Operator by the name of @
Later_Gator. After surviving the zombie apocalypse, he did find himself with a handful of survivors in an old, frozen-over Christmas warehouse. Inside this warehouse, Later_Gator saw something that he could not believe...
Before him, in a small patch of grass in the middle of the warehouse, with a single ray of light shining down upon it, he did gaze upon a ordinary, deformed tree. "This is no ordinary, deformed tree," said Later_Gator, "It has mystical properties." He immediate grabbed the first Christmas ordainment he could find and hung it from it's top branch, causing the tree to bend all the way over until the
ornament sat on the ground.
A hungry squid happened by the
ornament, and immediately wrapped his squiddy appendages around it, chewing on it in delight. As the glass broke in his mouth, causing his gums to bleed, @
Omar_Sales said to Later_Gator, "What was that red thing I just ate?" Later_Gator, furious that the business squid would defile the totally not ordinary, deformed tree, brought forth his trusty broom of justice and beat the squid away from the tree. "We shall protect it," he did say to the squid as he found a new, totally different, dull, red
ornament.
Just then, Steve did shout to the survivors, "Oh no! Everyone watch out! Lava is coming from nowhere! Who would of thought a lava server would be filled with lava?!" as lava was absolutely nowhere to be seen.. This didn't deter Later_Gator from his goal of protecting the totally not ordinary, deformed, mystical tree. He reached in to Omar_Sale's mouth and pulled out the glass that had been cutting up his insides and formed glass cubes from them and immediately begun to build a shelter for the tree.
The lava, taking it's sweet time as normal, was nowhere in sight. Steve, who cried out about the lava, was now beginning to eat the floor in front of the tree as Later_Gator built around the tree. It didn't take long for Later_Gator and his squid sidekick, Omar_Sales, to build the shelter for the totally not ordinary, deformed, mystical tree.
With the shelter built and the squid businessman out venturing for... whatever squids venture for, Later_Gator declared to the server, "I will raise it! And it will be the best tree, ever." ASDH, a random bystander could only stare and say, "Ok," before walking off to build a house to survive the lava that was sure to come by the prophecy of Steve.
Later_Gator began to grow paranoid, waiting for the lava to come. Without Omar_Sales, his squid sidekick, to keep him sane, Later_Gator began to whispering to the tree as he held it close for protection. He knew he was the only one who could protect this totally not ordinary, deformed, mystical tree. He heard voices in his head, voices of those he thought to be his colleagues. "They want to take this tree! This tree I will name Jerry! They can't have you, Jerry! No one but Later_Gator can have you, Jerry!" he thought as he slowly slipped in to his delusions.
He turned to Steve, who had abandoned eating the floor and was running to the nearest exit, and screamed "You're just jealous because you don't have a mystical tree named Jerry," as he thrashed about inside his glass container. Insanity had taken hold of Later_Gator's mind. He was completely unaware of the outside world as the lava began to fill the warehouse.
It is said that Later_Gator succeeded in protecting Jerry, the totally not ordinary, deformed, mystical tree, for even this day, a single warehouse that had long since suffered a lava accident can be seen with a totally not ordinary, deformed, tall, mighty, mystical tree growing through a broken roof, with a single, dull red
ornament hung upon it's highest branch. Unfortunately, Later_Gator was never seen again.
Upon that faithful day in the Christmas warehouse, Santa Claus's heart grew three size when he heard of Later_Gator's love for Jerry, the totally not ordinary, deformed, mystical tree. He decided that he would henceforth spread gifts all across the world on Christmas under decorated trees inside of buildings.
And that is the story of how Later_Gator started Christmas.
THE END