[Disclaimer]:
The following post is meant to be comical at the expense of our new 'masters'. It will also show that I do after all have a sense of patriotism, but not for any country, real or not real. Please try to enjoy.
Guardian of Help
After waking up in some dirty cave, our new lord and savior quickly runs to some river (or where ever some one is) and observes what they are doing. "I see you are trying to fly. Double tap the space bar and use W A S D to fly. You can use the SHIFT key to descend and SPACE to ascend." He then came over to where a nigh-demonic guardian was locked in combat with a humanoid, although he could not recognize the magical energy signature of said humanoid.
'Intelligent being that are not guardians? How can this be?' thought the new guardian.
The new guardian was essentially a giant floating paper clip with eye, and his name was Mr. Clippy.
Observing That the demonic-ish guardian was trying to use some sort of liquid darkness magic.
"I see you are trying to use 'splosh of darkness'. I would not recommend it for the humanoid you are trying to attack with it has a cold aura about him, which will instantly freeze your 'splosh of darkness'. To use this spell, press 'Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B, Start"
Mr. Clippy never woke up when he was sent sploshing away by the guardian of darkness' 'splosh of darkness'.